Wow...!!! Well said! I wish I had read this wonderful quote by Richard Rudd - The Gene Keys -again and again and again all these years, instead of torturing myself endlessly...
"We do not know exactly why we humans feel gloomy on certain days and happy on other days, despite our thousands of theories. Just as there is external weather, there is also internal weather, and it differs in every human being. Yet it is the very unpredictable nature of these internal weather patterns that so many of us struggle with. When you feel the movement of creation inside you, you are happy. When you feel entropy inside you, you are no longer happy. This continual interplay of energy in your life makes you want to always maintain the happy side and escape the gloomy side. Herein lies the greatest flaw in your nature and the distortion of the true energy of entropy into depression.
The 1 st Shadow appears in your life whenever you feel flat or sad or low. This is a chemical process that the body enters into, and if you try to comprehend it, find a reason for it, or worst of all try to fix it, then the natural process will not complete itself cleanly. If you resist this state mentally, one of the great dangers is that you will interfere with its process and fix it inside yourself as depression, because this 1 st Shadow triggers the chemical processes that can lead to depression. Most depressive states are the result of resisting certain Shadow frequencies within our genetic makeup. Depending on your individual genetic predispositions, you may be more or less prone to feeling low than others. Generally speaking, the more creative a person you are, the more deeply you are affected by this kind of melancholic chemistry.
The state of entropy is rather like a vacuum state. Your system is recharging, so the energy within you withdraws into a kind of stasis. The resulting feelings or lack of feeling and/or enthusiasm provide a delicate environment for something quite special to occur, if you are patient enough to allow it. This something is the creative process. In other words, your low energy means that something intangible is gestating inside you even though you cannot yet see it. Only when the state mutates to its expressive stage will you see what the process is about. These low times in your life are therefore very special times, and they generally require aloneness and withdrawal in order for the seeds sprouting inside you to germinate. The worst enemy at such times is interference from your own mind (or indeed someone else’s mind) wondering what is wrong with you. The programming partner of this 1 st Shadow is the 2 nd Shadow of Dislocation, which can only further worsen your state of mental turmoil if you try to intellectually understand what is happening to you. The 2 nd Shadow tends to fuel the fire of your anxiety, since it gives you the feeling that everything is out of sync with the whole, even though this is not the case. Because of this 1 st Shadow, humanity as a species is not nearly as creative as it could be. The reason for this is the weight of the collective denial of the natural phases of entropy that individuals experience. This Shadow can only be resolved and accepted at an individual level, which takes a great leap of courage, patience and trust
When you suddenly find yourself blind and lost, the best thing to do is to stay still and allow it to pass gently through your system, giving it the minimum mental attention possible. This deep acceptance of entropy as natural in your life will eventually allow you to unlock its true potential and in time transcend it entirely."
Richard Rudd - The Gene Keys
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