WELCOME TO MY BLOG!

This blog is mostly and simply a reflection of what I am in the process of exploring, learning, and perhaps experiencing or experimenting with. It is constantly shifting, and I have no idea towards what.

Each entry, quote or personal writing, is not necessarily "the" truth or "my truth", but a source of inspiration, or a way for me to reflect.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Sunday, January 29, 2017

DEPRESSION?!... Are you sure?

DEPRESSION?! Are you sure?
Wow...!!! Well said! I wish I had read this wonderful quote by Richard Rudd - The Gene Keys -again and again and again all these years, instead of torturing myself endlessly...

"We do not know exactly why we humans feel gloomy on certain days and happy on other days, despite our thousands of theories. Just as there is external weather, there is also internal weather, and it differs in every human being. Yet it is the very unpredictable nature of these internal weather patterns that so many of us struggle with. When you feel the movement of creation inside you, you are happy. When you feel entropy inside you, you are no longer happy. This continual interplay of energy in your life makes you want to always maintain the happy side and escape the gloomy side. Herein lies the greatest flaw in your nature and the distortion of the true energy of entropy into depression.

The 1 st Shadow appears in your life whenever you feel flat or sad or low. This is a chemical process that the body enters into, and if you try to comprehend it, find a reason for it, or worst of all try to fix it, then the natural process will not complete itself cleanly. If you resist this state mentally, one of the great dangers is that you will interfere with its process and fix it inside yourself as depression, because this 1 st Shadow triggers the chemical processes that can lead to depression. Most depressive states are the result of resisting certain Shadow frequencies within our genetic makeup. Depending on your individual genetic predispositions, you may be more or less prone to feeling low than others. Generally speaking, the more creative a person you are, the more deeply you are affected by this kind of melancholic chemistry.

The state of entropy is rather like a vacuum state. Your system is recharging, so the energy within you withdraws into a kind of stasis. The resulting feelings or lack of feeling and/or enthusiasm provide a delicate environment for something quite special to occur, if you are patient enough to allow it. This something is the creative process. In other words, your low energy means that something intangible is gestating inside you even though you cannot yet see it. Only when the state mutates to its expressive stage will you see what the process is about. These low times in your life are therefore very special times, and they generally require aloneness and withdrawal in order for the seeds sprouting inside you to germinate. The worst enemy at such times is interference from your own mind (or indeed someone else’s mind) wondering what is wrong with you. The programming partner of this 1 st Shadow is the 2 nd Shadow of Dislocation, which can only further worsen your state of mental turmoil if you try to intellectually understand what is happening to you. The 2 nd Shadow tends to fuel the fire of your anxiety, since it gives you the feeling that everything is out of sync with the whole, even though this is not the case. Because of this 1 st Shadow, humanity as a species is not nearly as creative as it could be. The reason for this is the weight of the collective denial of the natural phases of entropy that individuals experience. This Shadow can only be resolved and accepted at an individual level, which takes a great leap of courage, patience and trust

When you suddenly find yourself blind and lost, the best thing to do is to stay still and allow it to pass gently through your system, giving it the minimum mental attention possible. This deep acceptance of entropy as natural in your life will eventually allow you to unlock its true potential and in time transcend it entirely."
Richard Rudd - The Gene Keys


Wednesday, January 25, 2017

This site is for people who want to improve their drawing and painting

http://www.learning-to-see.co.uk/about


This self-taught artist is inspiring on many levels. First and foremost, as a human-being. This is how he starts:

"This site is for people who want to improve their drawing and painting. It exists because I want to help you take control of your own learning. Why? Because it worked for me, and I think it’ll work for you too. In late 2005 I returned to drawing and painting after a long gap. My work was awful. I was horrified. I realised that I needed to learn again from the beginning. Along the way I went down many dead ends. But slowly, surely, I progressed. I learned a lot about how we learn. I want to share that with you so that you don’t have to make the same mistakes I did."

Sunday, January 22, 2017

To Anyone Who Thinks They’re Falling Behind In Life

Awesome article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jamie-varon/to-anyone-who-thinks-theyre-falling-behind_b_9190758.html


You don’t need more motivation. You don’t need to be inspired to action. You don’t need to read any more lists and posts about how you’re not doing enough. We act as if we can read enough articles and enough little Pinterest quotes and suddenly the little switch in our brain will put us into action. But, honestly, here’s the thing that nobody really talks about when it comes to success and motivation and willpower and goals and productivity and all those little buzzwords that have come into popularity: you are as you are until you’re not. You change when you want to change. You put your ideas into action in the timing that is best. That’s just how it happens. And what I think we all need more than anything is this: permission to be wherever the fuck we are when we’re there. You’re not a robot. You can’t just conjure up motivation when you don’t have it. Sometimes you’re going through something. Sometimes life has happened. Life! Remember life? Yeah, it teaches you things and sometimes makes you go the long way around for your biggest lessons. You don’t get to control everything. You can wake up at 5 a.m. every day until you’re tired and broken, but if the words or the painting or the ideas don’t want to come to fruition, they won’t. You can show up every day to your best intentions, but if it’s not the time, it’s just not the fucking time. You need to give yourself permission to be a human being. “If it’s not the time, it’s just not the fucking time. You need to give yourself permission to be a human being.” Sometimes the novel is not ready to be written because you haven’t met the inspiration for your main character yet. Sometimes you need two more years of life experience before you can make your masterpiece into something that will feel real and true and raw to other people. Sometimes you’re not falling in love because whatever you need to know about yourself is only knowable through solitude. Sometimes you haven’t met your next collaborator. Sometimes your sadness encircles you because, one day, it will be the opus upon which you build your life. We all know this: Our experience cannot always be manipulated. Yet, we don’t act as though we know this truth. We try so hard to manipulate and control our lives, to make creativity into a game to win, to shortcut success because others say they have, to process emotions and uncertainty as if these are linear journeys. You don’t get to game the system of your life. You just don’t. You don’t get to control every outcome and aspect as a way to never give in to the uncertainty and unpredictability of something that’s beyond what you understand. It’s the basis of presence: to show up as you are in this moment and let that be enough. Yet, we don’t act in a way that supports this lifestyle. We fill every minute with productivity tools and read 30-point lists on how to better drive out natural, human impulse. We often forget that we are as we are until we’re not. We are the same until we’re changed. We can move that a bit further by putting into place healthy habits and to show up to our lives in a way that fosters growth, but we can’t game timing. Timing is the one thing that we often forget to surrender to. Things are dark until they’re not. Most of our unhappiness stems from the belief that our lives should be different than they are. We believe we have control — and our self-loathing and self-hatred comes from this idea that we should be able to change our circumstances, that we should be richer or hotter or better or happier. While self-responsibility is empowering, it can often lead to this resentment and bitterness that none of us need to be holding within us. We have to put in our best efforts and then give ourselves permission to let whatever happens to happen—and to not feel so directly and vulnerably tied to outcomes. Opportunities often don’t show up in the way we think they will. You don’t need more motivation or inspiration to create the life you want. You need less shame around the idea that you’re not doing your best. You need to stop listening to people who are in vastly different life circumstances and life stages than you tell you that you’re just not doing or being enough. You need to let timing do what it needs to do. You need to see lessons where you see barriers. You need to understand that what’s right now becomes inspiration later. You need to see that wherever you are now is what becomes your identity later. “There’s a magic beyond us that works in ways we can’t understand. We can’t game it. We can’t 10-point list it. We can’t control it.” Sometimes we’re not yet the people we need to be in order to contain the desires we have. Sometimes we have to let ourselves evolve into the place where we can allow what we want to transpire. Let’s just say that whatever you want, you want it enough. So much so that you’re making yourself miserable in order to achieve it. What about chilling out? Maybe your motivation isn’t the problem, but that you keep pushing a boulder up a mountain that only grows in size the more you push. There’s a magic beyond us that works in ways we can’t understand. We can’t game it. We can’t 10-point list it. We can’t control it. We have to just let it be, to take a fucking step back for a moment, stop beating ourselves up into oblivion, and to let the cogs turn as they will. One day, this moment will make sense. Trust that. Give yourself permission to trust that. Jamie Varon is a writer based out of Los Angeles. You can connect with her on Twitter, Instagram, and at her Facebook page.